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5 Signs you've become a parent
- Your conversations are dominated by 4 topics: feeding, poo, pee, and sleep (ok, this is cliche, but it's painfully true)
- Euphemistic-sounding phrases like "try the reverse football" and "we really love the bikini twist" are no longer about sex positions and instead about ways to relieve gas or ways to fold your cloth diapers
- "I was up all night!" no longer describes a work deadline nor partying but instead a fussy baby...
- Wet t-shirts are no longer about contests, but are about spitup or a little extra lactation
- You invent songs like "Who's the captain of this ship? It's bobble-head, silly buns" and "Why does my baby have a mullet?"